I can hardly believe I’ve been a mum of two for almost a year now. In lots of ways it’s been a learning curve – difficulties with reflux and a milk allergy early on. On the other hand I have realised how much it pays not to sweat the small stuff. I have definitely sat back and enjoyed not being as stressed as much with Dexter, I mean, I didn’t feel I was with Freddie but looking back, I was.
If I could offer some pearls of wisdom for that first time mom me, here would be my five top “don’t stress” tips.
- Fed is best. Before I had Freddie I said I would try and breastfeed if I could, but wouldn’t mind if I switched to formula. Once he was born, he breastfed and I really struggled to keep up with the cluster feeds. I got that obsessed by “giving him the best” that I hated every minute and I shrouded myself in such guilt that I felt such a failure when I decided to stop. With Dexter, he fed really well and I was much more relaxed. When I did have to stop for his milk allergy, I didn’t feel guilt I was just pleased I had a better journey with it.
- Your not a bad mom for going back to work. I’m a nurse and it was always s given I was going back to work. When the day came, it destroyed me and for a long time I felt I was losing my bond with Freddie as the cost of just going to work. Well that job provided for nice things for Freddie and gave me some much needed thinking space as I travelled to work. It was healthy for me and him to have a break from each other as I realised how much I missed him dearly and always wanted to do the best for him.
- There is no such thing as the perfect mom. I always took to heart any advice or scrunity I received as a new mom to Freddie. This confused me as I tried to make so many people happy, when in reality my own choices and decisions were being squashed. With Dexter, I have heard the advice but I’m happy doing what I feel is right, as long as he is healthy and happy then my way is my parenting way. This is our journey.
- Soak in every infor memory, even if you think you have, do it some more! That newborn head smell heartbreakingly soon fades away and that baby cry that you heard so many times soon becomes so hard to remember. I have filmed every thing, took thousands of pictures and wrote so much down since Dex has joined us and I love looking back. Simple things such as a baby massage to relax baby is such a special moment and one that seems far away. I love to massage my boys feet and we have tried Vicks Baby’s rub thanks to Britmums and Vicks to incorporate for bedtime relaxation. With soothing scents of lavender, rosemary and nourishing Aloe they adore it. I do too, it gives us a quiet moment together and I jsut soak them up. Dex is teething (again) and it’s really helps calm him when he is fractious and offers another dimension of soothing I can offer him. Those little tiny toes and crinkly skin that are even to small for baby socks soon grow into little piggies.
- Point the willy down! The last but most important section of advice. So many outfits were sodden before we had even left the house. Not with Dexter as I remembered to point the pee pistol down for a dry outfit!
Being a parent all comes down to the experiences we have. Don’t be so hard on yourself as it all takes time and mistakes. After all those lovely babies don’t come with a manual!
“This post is an entry for BritMums #VicksBabyRub Challenge, sponsored by Vicks BabyRub. Specially designed for babies aged 6 months and over, Vicks BabyRub is available at Boots, Superdrug, Tesco, Asda, Waitrose and all good pharmacy chains. RRP £3.99.”