Flashback post. HG..the return 

I am lay here on my bed one day short of being 7 weeks pregnant. 

Two days ago I was hospitalised for severe dehydration following hypremesis gravadium making its return. This is my second pregnancy, unfortunately I was already rudely acquainted with HG in my first pregnancy with Freddie at 6w3d. I thought I had been lucky and missed it this time.

It returned at about 2am, when I was 6w3d. 

Initially it was strong waves of nausea and feeling faint. By the time I got to work at 9am I knew it was back and I couldn’t keep anything down. Shaking, pale, emotional. I had to tell some of my colleagues and got my husband to go home.

And I waited.

It all came flooding back. I felt exactly the same as with Freddie. The most traumatisingly familiar memory, a true living nightmare, the rollercoaster ride I couldn’t get off.

I knew I was already dehydrated but by this point i couldn’t even keep my own saliva down. 

The next hurdle was HG and a toddler. No comparability. Error. Computer says no!

Thankfully my mom and husband rallied in and helped me, until my mom arrived I had to let Fred just do what he wanted, I had reached the point where lying on the left side or my back in bed where the only safe positions, sitting up was a no go. Standing up was dire.

Your whole body is shaking and fragile like it’s been ravaged by the elements. Your head and legs are heavy and hard to move. You feel so nauseous, every single smell is heightened, everything is disgusting. I could smell perfume in my hair from work the day before and it was making me heave. The cat biscuits which were a terrible foe last time came back to haunt me and the odour of them burnt into my nose. 

Even the most enjoyable smells that sways used to get my tummy rumbling where hellish. Smoked bacon- repulsive. And toast. Toast was probably the worst. It was so strong and offensive. That really set my retching of uncondtrollably.

The torment with HG is that, contrary to popular belief, you HAVE tried the dried biscuit, the sipping water, the ginger etc etc etc. You are SO hungry, the hunger pangs rip into your stomach and make you feel violently sick. You are light headed and so so weary and you KNOW you need to eat. But you can’t

It’s an effort to chew the smallest peice of dry biscuit. You’re mouth is dry and fatigued from relentless vomiting. You try and swallow it with everything in your person but your entire being rejects it. 

This is often the point I was start up another episode of vomiting. If I did manage to swallow something, I knew I would be vomiting, withing about 5-10 minutes. And this would always happen.

The worst part for me is the thirst.

I could have drank the salty sea in one go and still wanted more to quench my thirst. Drinking fast and gulping is almost certain to encourage the HG. So you restrict your self. You have a tiny sip. It’s soul destroying when you are so thirsty and your body wants to be replenished. But you just cannot take the risk of another episode of viniting when you are already so weak. 

So you sip. And sip. And then the nausea kicks in. Before you know it your head is in the bottom of a sainsbos bag and you are in sheer agony from retching up such a small amount of fluid that your body desperately needs.

I’m trying to be optimistic and countdown to 19 weeks when it ended last time.  I’m so scared 


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