a new outlook

So. I haven’t wrote in my blog for EVER.

I am going to be a good girl though and start using it as my diary. A diary of Freddie growing and changing and also of our journey to start trying for our second baby!

A lot has happened since my last post, new house, went back to work starting a new job (my dream job) as a district nurse and of course Freddie turning one!

However, since December ’15 we have been hit with a speight of illnesses and operations. I’m currently off work and have even for nearly 6 weeks with various linked back problems which culminated in my back/lower hip popping and giving way last week causing me to collapse down and was unable to walk/stand/crawl without the worst pain I have ever, ever been in.

Thankfully I had amazing people rally round me to help me and rich look after Freddie and also take care of me. Mom has worked her bloody backside of caring for me & Freddie and cleaning the house and my best friend was on ultimate best friend duties helping me walk with a chair just to get to the toilet whilst crying my face off.

I had a week in hospital away from my mister and master and missed them terribly. I did lots of thinking in the wee hours when I was just staring at the ceiling  and it’s really made me look at my life differently and really cherish the people who are around me and would help me at the drop of a hat.

I honestly thought I was paralysed at one point and that my dreams of extending my family were over, as well as limiting what I would be able to do with Freddie. I was so so frightened.

However, I am lay writing this in my own bed after grafting my way up the stairs. I’m taking a lot of pain relief but everyday is getting a bit easier.

I can hear Freddie and Rich playing away during tea time downstairs and I can’t tell you how much I adore my family. My husband has been such a rock and i have really seen a side to him that he has never really revealed, I mean he has always looked after me and Freddie and worked his arse off at work and cared for us, but this side of him was just relentless in how he just kept going for me and keeping me positive and being such an amazing daddy. I have definitely married my man who will be there in sickness and in health. We may be rich, we may be poor but we will always have each other and I’m never letting him go. 

I sound so slushy I know, but sometimes you let day to day life go by without really seeing what goes on around you. You don’t see how hard people work, or how your son and husband completely dote on each other, you don’t see changes in people. We don’t appreciate the little things (which are actually the big things) and we don’t cherish the family and friends who are there when we need them (without question or thought for their own problems) and that’s so so special. It’s not what we have, money, clothes, cars, houses…it’s who we have and who  we can depend on and who enrich our lives that really matters.

I really want to keep this new outlook on life as I was so down in the hospital, I need to look at this post and get out there. Take something from everyday and dote on it.




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